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Tom & Abbey
We are so honored that you would consider getting to know us better. As you read through this profile, we hope that it tells you the basics of who we are and helps you get to know us a little bit better. We are extremely thankful and excited to start the adoption process again.
Adoption in Our Lives
We always knew that we would start our family through adoption. Abbey was diagnosed with a rare condition when she was an infant and it impacted her ability to carry children. Even when dating, we would talk about starting a family someday and always knew that adoption would play a primary role.
We welcomed our daughter, Amelia, into our lives through adoption three years ago. When we adopted Amelia, we knew we were ready to be parents, but over these last three years she has taught us so much. Her personality has changed and grown at every phase and being a part of that has meant everything to us. We are very close with our parents, and when they would say things about raising us when we were little we never really understood until we experienced the joy ourselves. Some of our favorite moments are the small things, the little moments that we eagerly tell our friends and they tolerate our enthusiasm for the 100th time - like when Amelia goes down the slide for the first time on her own or chats up the Costco employee at check out trying to tell them all about how she ate a sample of cheese. We can't wait to help another child learn and grow, teaching them to be kind and curious about life, and supporting them as they learn to go down slides with their big sister.
Our Leisure Time
Most of our free time is spent together and if possible, outdoors. We have always loved going to the zoo even before we were parents, so we have a zoo membership in our hometown and love going even for little quick trips so Amelia can see the bears or the frogs.
We love going for walks and hikes, often with Amelia helping walk our dog when she isn't pushing her favorite car or on her bike. Despite the snow in the winter, we still get out for hikes but, admittedly, watch a few more movies and enjoy trying new recipes in the warmth of our own home.
One of the things we love about where we live is we are also close to downtown, so we enjoy outings to the children's museum or science museum, can go to shows, and try out new restaurants as a family (although Amelia usually ends up with mac n cheese no matter where we go).
Family visits often and Amelia loves taking grandparents to her favorite places, and we can't wait for her to have that same excitement when she gets to go with her little sibling.
In our home, differences are celebrated. Our families are full of wonderfully different, unique, stubborn, funny, loving, God-fearing people. Abbey's mom has a saying, "If we all were the same, what a boring world it would be." Valuing these differences is at the heart of what really makes us a family and is the foundation for how our friends have come into our lives. We love each other as people, as individuals. Our daughter brings her own flare to everything she does and we can't wait to see what she will teach us next. We love the idea of having another child and are so excited to get to know and love them for exactly who they are. If we are blessed with an adoption opportunity for a child of a different ethnicity, they will be loved for who they are with their heritage incorporated into our life.
Our House and Neighborhood
Although we have a home in Michigan, we currently live in North Carolina for one year as Tom finishes his training as a surgeon.
We are currently renting a four-bedroom home, with a fenced-in backyard and tons of sidewalks for evening strolls through the neighborhood.
Our family has come to love the warmer weather in these past 6 months, but we still miss the snow back home and look forward to returning to Michigan in August.
We have always loved living in Michigan and have built a strong and loving community around us there. Our home has four bedrooms, our favorite being the upstairs bedrooms overlooking our backyard. The backyard has a big deck where we spend most of our time in the summer and fall. When looking out the upstairs window, you can see our planter fence with flowers starting to bloom in the spring and the big maple tree with leaves that turn yellow in the fall.
Our home is quite close to the "downtown," but has plenty of nature nearby which is great because Amelia loves to hunt for worms, go on runs with dad, or visit the zoo and local children's garden.
Our Extended Families
We both grew up in Midwestern towns, where family comes first. This common value has held true in our lives and we have become who we are today because of the love and support of our relatives.
Most of our family lives within a few hours of our home, meaning that we get to see our many nieces, nephews, siblings, and parents regularly.
We are no strangers to road trips! Our daughter, Amelia, does great in the car and will often read us books or ask to listen to her favorite Disney soundtrack. We frequently make the drive for birthday parties, family barbecues, baptisms, or impromptu backyard camping with the kids.
Over the years, our separate family traditions have started to merge and holidays are often celebrated together as one big family with lots of food and games.
It is this sense of welcoming and openness that makes us so excited to raise another child with the help and support of those we love. We have been blessed through these relationships in our lives and can't believe the support and excitement that has been offered to us by each of our families as we start this adoption process again.
From Us to You
As excited as we are to adopt again, we wouldn't even begin to think that we understand the emotions you are experiencing as you start down the adoption path with this child. Thank you for taking this step to get to know us better and trust that we are excited to get to know you and even more excited to love this child.
We met in college and dated for two and half years before we got engaged. We married young and have grown together as individuals and as partners over the last decade, experiencing so much during that time. We bought a home in Michigan that we have been blessed to call our own for more than 6 years. We've put a lot of time and love into this house and enjoy each year's projects, including growing our veggie garden from seeds each spring and adding a bedroom and bathroom all on our own for our growing family. We have watched our extended and immediate family grow, with 13 nieces and nephews to love, and of course our amazing daughter, Amelia, who is now 3 years old. She is spirited, active, and so funny! She brings us joy everyday with her sneaky smile and house-filling laughter, especially when she is reading to our puppy, Harrison, who is a golden retriever that thinks he is still little and tries to sit on any open lap he can find. We've grown our chosen family as well, with close friends who love Amelia as their own, taking her on her first boat ride, spoiling her on her birthday, and supporting us through the ups and downs of parenthood. We are so excited to have another child and raise them surrounded by such love and support.
When we aren't at home, we absolutely love our work. As physicians, we meet all kinds of people who are usually experiencing one of the worst days of their lives, either due to accidents, broken bones, cancer, infection, or an unexpected diagnosis. We never know what our work day will bring and that has created a unique appreciation of life and a focus on kindness and understanding for all those we meet.
It is that kindness and understanding that grounds all of the relationships in our personal life and it is what we guarantee to you. We don't know what kind of relationship you are looking for with us and this child, but we are excited to have you be a part of our lives in whatever way feels right to you. We know that our relationship with you will probably grow and change over time just as others have in our life together over these last 10 years and that's okay too. You are important to us and we have been praying for you and this baby. What you are doing is hard, and brave, and you are the strongest among us. You are always talked about with respect and honor in our home. We plan to send photos and updates to you often as this child grows and are open to more involvement depending on your preferences.
We want you, most of all, to know that we will love this child, every day, no matter what. We are open to and excited for the opportunity to adopt a child with any ethnicity. This child comes with a background and a heritage that is different from ours and we love that. There are always going to be challenges in parenting that we can't expect and we would be lying if we told you we have it all figured out. We may not have the perfect answers for when our child asks about adoption or why they don't look like us, but we promise that we will always be honest and loving. This child's heritage will be highlighted and we want this child to feel proud of who they are and how they came to be the best part of our family.
Thank you for reading this and taking the time to get to know us. You are such a strong woman and we would be honored to be in your life and have your support as we raise this child. Know that we are thinking of you and sending you all the positive thoughts we have.
Wishing you all the best,
Tom & Abbey
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